The Dovewing Poem!
by Duskfall of RiverClan
Summary: What the title says. Well, not really, since it's all about roasting Dovewing! XD Perfect for all the Dovewing haters.


**Hello y'all, I was bored and decided to write something. I wrote this poem in about two hours. Dovewing is one of my least favorite characters so this is basically a whole ballad of roasts for Dovewing and her stuck-up, Mary Sue personality. If you like Dovewing, get a life and read the true story of Dovewing. If you don't like Dovewing, enjoy!  
**

 **The Dovewing Poem!**

 _I'm the specialest of the 3,_

 _So you must, bow to me,_

 _I run to my mommy when there is strife,_

 _But that's not important, let's hear the story of my life!_

 _When I was a kit, I told the clan_

 _I smelled fire! We needed a plan_

 _And that's when Lion brought our water_

 _To put out the fire, before the fire could slaughter_

 _Ivy and I were made apprentices_

 _And that's when I knew I had nemeses_

 _When I became a hero because of the drought_

 _She was jealous of me and started to go all out_

 _She hated and swore, went to the dark_

 _And met a sexy tom, oh StarClan, it was a spark_

 _In her boring, dead life, it was too good to be true_

 _She didn't know the tom, she didn't have a clue_

 _Really, she's stupid! She never would've known_

 _That a tom died on the journey, to protect me and my home_

 _She also wouldn't have known that I met my own tom_

 _He's the smartest guy in the world, he's a frickin' hot bomb_

 _Yeah, now back to me, I'm the best, I was busy_

 _With my clan, with my training, with the whole darn prophecy!_

 _Well, not really, I dragged Ivy to WindClan in the night_

 _Just to see Sedge but Ivy thought we were going to get in a fight_

 _But we didn't! Ha, she's wrong! I don't care we got caught_

 _I was right, and she was not!_

 _I saved the clan's tails, AGAIN, with that whole tree-falling craze_

 _Well, I didn't save Longtail or Briarpaw, anyways_

 _But then I fought against ShadowClan_

 _And saw my sister receive a nod from my man_

 _What the Dark Forest? How does he know her?_

 _I'm jealous, since I'm the best, and she's just a burr_

 _After that, I found out about Ivy's tom, and her training_

 _She says she'll be a better warrior, her excuses are entertaining_

 _She's training with evil cats! She's not going to be better_

 _Sure, she'll try, but to honest, she will never_

 _Be as good as me_

 _I'm the best, clearly_

 _I know that there'll be no trouble between her and Tiger_

 _Cause I met up with him that night, he's a fighter_

 _He's strong, and he's handsome, we agreed to meet again_

 _I know I'm in love with him, he's one of the better men_

 _And I also know Ivy's bitter because she tells me_

 _Tiger's in her evil forest, like he'd ever be!_

 _He's too kind, too nice, too fun to ever go_

 _To that smelly little forest, but if he did, I would know_

 _The next night, I met him again_

 _And he told me about the med cat, he's sick in his den_

 _With greencough! I told him about our catmint_

 _But then Ivy found us, she didn't give a hint_

 _Of what she was up to, that sneaky she-cat!_

 _She's my sister, she can trust me, no clue why she didn't do that_

 _ShadowClan captured her while I was safe under a bush_

 _And they will only give her back if we give them the catmint, StarClan knows they can push!_

 _I knew Tiger was bad, I was just playing along_

 _So I could see what he was up to, he's just very strong_

 _I pretended to be in love with him so I could get all the info_

 _He's honestly just horrible, worse than a slippery minnow_

 _I got my warrior name, now I'm called Dovewing  
_

 _I saved Ice during my assessment, I'm better than anything_

 _I'm gonna get a new mate, because Bumble is nice_

 _But then Tiger says he loves me, ugh, he's worse than lice!_

 _I hate him so much, so I'm glad when I leave_

 _To go to the mountains with Jay, Squirrel, and Foxleap_

 _But then Swoop of Chestnut Hawk is carried off by an eagle_

 _That's gotta be illegal_

 _I have nightmares for a moon, and plus my powers are gone!_

 _Oh no, I'm 'normal', let me kill myself at the dawn!_

 _But I learn Bumble likes me, oh he's great_

 _Until Blossom sticks her muzzle in, she's now filled with hate_

 _But I uncover my feelings for Tiger, stronger than before_

 _I know I love him more than Bumble, I need to get to him, I need more_

 _But then that no good Sol_

 _Is being a horrible mole_

 _For WindClan, they just want a fight_

 _Ivy and I hear him in the tunnels, but then we don't have a sight_

 _Of the light from above, we're lost, when Holly_

 _Guides us back to the top, I couldn't have been more jolly_

 _But Lion and Jay seem to have different views  
_

 _Jay doesn't want Holly but Lion will refuse_

 _To send her back to the tunnels, he loves her_

 _Why is this so confusing? Holly's sturdier than a fir_

 _Like during the battle with WindClan and the traitor Sol_

 _She put his claws to his throat and tells him to roll_

 _She won't hesitate to kill him if he shows up again_

 _I get bad feelings from him, I can't wait for him to be dead_

 _Ivy's getting moody, I think she likes her forest_

 _Maybe she wants to stay, I can tell she's the sorest_

 _She's learning new fighting moves, waking up with a bloody pelt_

 _To me, she's a traitor, to others, she's a heart-melt_

 _Especially to that sexy, dark tom, with those eyes that are ice blue_

 _She seems to like him so much, I have the feeling they want to screw_

 _After that Jay tells that there's a fourth_

 _I'm so mad, why does StarClan have to put forth_

 _Another cat? She might be better than me_

 _Jay thinks of Moth but Lion thinks it's Holly_

 _I think it's Ivy, but I don't want it to be true_

 _Ivy will try to be better than me, and definitely make a fool_

 _Of herself! I can't stand to have a sister as stupid as her_

 _So I'm not telling, but I'm hoping that she won't be a saboteur_

 _Then Tiger finds me, tells me to meet him at the border_

 _I reluctantly agree, but inside, my heart's out of order_

 _I want to meet him again, I missed him so much,_

 _That night I'm really in a rush_

 _I meet him up and we race together_

 _In those past few days, I had never felt better_

 _I suggest he come to ThunderClan and we have kits_

 _But Tiger is reluctant, and settles for a kiss_

 _When we go to the Gathering, I snap at Bumble_

 _Later I apologize but with a rumble_

 _He rejects me, I'm not used to that_

 _My heart is torn in two, I wish he'd go splat_

 _No one rejects the best of the best_

 _And gets away with it, until they become a big mess_

 _But when I told my Clanmates about my powers_

 _Tiger told that he overheard, and I see he's no delicate flower_

 _He's a ShadowClan cat and a Dark Forest warrior_

 _Not my mate, not my love, he makes me so much warier_

 _Of my surroundings, of my past, so I break up with him_

 _I'm loyal to my Clan, to the Three, he's just a sin_

 _But when I fight in the battle, I see Tiger fighting for the clans_

 _He tells me he spied like Ivy, because he's a good man_

 _I'm relieved, I can love him, he's not evil after all_

 _Ivy was wrong, I was right, it would be a victory for us all!_

 _Firestar's on his last life, but he still fights Tigerstar_

 _The evil tom is defeated, and Firestar goes up in a spark_

 _Of lightning when it strikes and causes flames_

 _He was a true warrior and his spirit will be among the many names_

 _That died for their clans, the good cats that they are_

 _Of course, when I die, I'll get my own star_

 _Because I'm the best of the best_

 _Obviously better than the rest_

 _The battle's won and done, so I lost my powers, oh no!_

 _I'm 'normal', I'm not a pro_

 _There's a new prophecy, not concerning me_

 _How could StarClan do this! They can't possibly_

 _Forget about Dovewing, better than the rest_

 _I know I should've been the leader all after this_

 _I saved the clans' tails from destruction and darkness_

 _How do they repay me? With nothing, they're so heartless_

 _On top of that, I think Tiger hates me now_

 _He hisses at me, I refuse to bow_

 _And pretend I don't love him_

 _I'm not that dim_

 _When ShadowClan comes to live with us_

 _He becomes cuddly and warm and I know I must_

 _Be with him, make him my mate_

 _Until Bumble hits on me, I know him I hate_

 _I can't stand his clumsy compliments_

 _Tiger's much better, he's not incompetent  
_

 _I'm carrying his kits, I have to leave_

 _Because of nightmares, I can't be pleased_

 _He doesn't want to leave, so I leave on my own_

 _I'm strong by myself, but I'm no longer alone_

 _Because he finally catches up to me_

 _I'm with the guardian cats, I'm finally free_

 _I give birth to Shadow, Pounce, and Light_

 _They're all so adorable, they always fight_

 _Alright, I know, Lightkit is dark brown_

 _Which is the opposite of her name, I can tell you have a frown_

 _But only my opinion counts, so ha! I don't care_

 _If you hate her name, I'll just go and give you a scare_

 _Shadow knows everything_

 _He's never been to the forest, but he's seen_

 _Visions of the trees, and even Ivy_

 _Who had her own kits, I want to see them now_

 _And tell her that my kits are better than hers, but how_

 _Did she get a mate that actually cares for her_

 _Was it that sexy dark tom from the shadows that will deter_

 _Everything she's worked for_

 _Just for kits and more galore?_

 _We travel back to the clans_

 _Shadow tells us of the land_

 _He describes the lake and the moor_

 _And tells us that the clans aren't poor_

 _In prey or water, they're fine, they're okay_

 _I tell Tiger that I'll go to ShadowClan to stay_

 _He becomes the next leader, I'm proud of him_

 _I've got a leader for a mate! I'll never be grim_

 _Because that will show Ivy how I'm so much better_

 _'Cause I've got Tiger for a mate, and all she's got is a little feather_

 _His name is Fernsong and he's kind and caring_

 _I thought it would be Hawk, they could get drunk together on some Twoleg sherry_

 _Just the type of thing they would do, but I keep my mouth shut_

 _But I tell her I'm going to live with ShadowClan, she's says, "Stay with us..."_

 _I'm really surprised, I know I wouldn't miss her at all_

 _But she's going to miss me? Wow, I'm probably still hotter than a fireball_

 _I'm living with my Tiger, but again I've gotta think_

 _How I was the best of the three, even the others had a few chinks_

 _Jay is being shipped with a stick_

 _That stupid stick is bigger than his prick_

 _Lion really wanted Cinderheart_

 _But I know why she wouldn't take him, he'd always fart_

 _When he slept in the warriors' den all night_

 _It's a wonder she finally accepted him and they never had a fight_

 _You know, let's include Firestar_

 _He broke the code so many times, no wonder he has so many scars_

 _And how ironic is it that he was killed by fire_

 _I guess his name didn't like being plastered on a liar_

 _He chose the one who hates him for his mate_

 _Had two lying daughters, that's just great_

 _Those daughters had med cats for their kits_

 _Spottedleaf wants a destiny through them, instead of having fits_

 _About how Fire rejected her and she went up to StarClan_

 _Without him, her love, the one who was supposed to be her man_

 _Now you see how imperfectly_

 _The others behaved...what about me?_

 _You don't have to say it, I know you love Dovewing_

 _Well, thanks everyone, and bye-bye kitties!_


End file.
